Dallas in Minnesota

Mark got to see Willard speak at Bethel College in St. Paul last week. Here's the seminar in Real Audio format.

In case anyone was wondering...Jesus is alive and well at 3am. There were so many things that I could not answer before Chloe was born. How do I juggle having 2 tiny kids etc. etc. The answer is ..you just do it. It has been as if Chloe has always been here. I was so prepared for this to be a hard transition that I am pleasantly surprised at how smoothly it has gone. Granted it has only been a week, I will let you know how I am feeling in 6 weeks time. My parents - in - law have been here for a few days and have been a tremendous blessing. Jackson is going on about life as normal and I am not as tired as I thought I would be.

In the midst of every day things like late night feedings, changing diapers and playing blocks with Jackson I am deeply, deeply aware that I am right in the middle of what God is doing. There is nothing more important than training these guys up in the kingdom. I love how following Jesus puts you right where it is best for you to be. So with all the talk about being "missional" I feel that if you have young kids in your group you are deeply missional if you are willing to look at it that way. Mike and I are seeing that it is not just our influence on our kids lives (which is huge) it is the impact of the community as a whole. Sunday after everyone had left our house for Chloe's baby dedication, Jackson said to me. Mama....."Good Time" and I replied..."Did you have a good time?" and he said. "Singing..Good time.". He is just as much a part as everyone else.

As long as we keep immersing our kids (people in general for that matter) within the story of God's people and wrapping them up in a community who love God and deeply love each other...I have a feeling that everything else will take care of itself.

Here's a good article by a Canadian Vineyard guy (I think) that presents a challenge in how we deal with the "institutional church," specifically how we should act in relationship to those churches and the people within them.

Clique Maintenance, Part 2: How to Prevent Meaningful Dialogue

Chloe Update
Well, we're back at home and Chloe's doing great so far. She's eating and sleeping well - at least enough sleep at night that I'm not turning into my tired butthead self.

I've had the thought before about birth being a messy process, but it's also very fragile. Chloe is so small and helpless. Her survival is dependent on getting regular feedings and lots of sleep. Really, not much more is important right now. Likewise, birth in the kingdom is a messy, fragile process. There are no guarantees other than God's promise to be our Father and provide the nourishment we need to grow. There is a raw simplicity to this early life in the kingdom. Nothing but eat, sleep, poop...eat, sleep, poop. But in that most basic of rhythms there is a foundation of life being laid that will in large part determine what kind of life will be added later.

...note to self...consider what the care of souls who are being born into the kingdom should look like...what is our job as 'midwives'...what are the essentials during the first few days in the hospital...how do we work out introducing the new ones to the rest of the family...

Friday 5-9:15pm Vounteer appreciation dinner in Palm Beach Gardens
Friday 9:15 to Saturday 9 am Relay for Life at Martin County High School ... Stuart
Saturday 11 am to 12:45 pm wedding reception for a friend's sister in Palm City
Saturday 2 pm to 4:30 pm work at a company picnic at Morikami in Delray Beach
Saturday 6:30 - til meet some students at Cityplace to see movie and hang out

Friday night driving up to Stuart from Youth for Christ's volunteer appreciation dinner, I freaked out... I realized that my weekend was crazy and Youth for Christ had almost nothing to do with it... I longed to blame this insanity on someone. I had been thinking that my life would become much simpler if I wasn't a part of full-time ministry. But it was my choices that had gotten me to this place. Talking to my mom I realized that leaving full-time ministry isn't going to slow me down any... If my life is going to slow down, it has to be me making conscious choices to do so. It was disturbing to realize that I can't blame anyone... God's not letting me blame anything anymore... I'm a little annoyed.

One a brighter note... Suz and I had our first official Naked Beauty business meeting... it was so exciting. We definitely realized that we have lots to learn. I think it will be a fun and amazing challenge to start a business...

Chloe Faith Bishop

Chloe was born at 7:53 AM, a healthy 6 lb. 7 oz. and 19 inches. Amber is doing well and both are sleeping. I posted some photos here. Thanks for all your prayers.

Here's portions of an email Mark (my brother) sent me today:

"i'm "teaching" wed. night at our home group...[Mark is taking one of the lessons from a book (which will remain nameless) their group in Minnesota is reading]. I'm going to try to break it down and see if we can dig a bit deeper than "ministry is serving in church"...anyway, for wednesday, i think the plan is to not just jump into this book, but back up and show how ministry is really a very short link between discipleship (me and Jesus in the context of others) and mission. "I don't just want to receive, I want to give, I want to be a part of something bigger than me". the components of spiritual formation (gifts, disciplines, attitude, passions, experiences) come together to be the building blocks of our vocation or calling. We then join together with others, all with our callings and we go somewhere...mission. Here's a quote, albeit slightly out of context, but it sums up the heart of the book and unfortunately, I think, the motivation for all these churches doing it...this is the motto of this guy's church..."Whatever you are good at, you should be doing for your church."

Here's a better quote, from that Guder book i've been reading [Missional Church]... i think i'm going to share this by the way..."if a mission community saw itself primarily as the Spirit's steward of the calling and gifts of its members, its internal activities would, in one sense, diminish. it would spend much less time on providing activities that take its members out of the world. it would devote more of its times of gathering for the equipping, support, and accountability of its member-missionaries. the ancient sense of the conclusion of public worship as the sending out of God's people would be translated into the concrete forms of congregational life. our concept of "active church member" would, of course, have to change. we would expect to see less of our more mature and accountable members, and focus more of our gathered time on the young, the new Christians, those in training for their missionary vocation."

Here's a little bit of my response:

"Dude, that is cool. This weekend during my conversations with Ahren and T, I was able to articulate my role and what I think my calling is, better than I ever have before. It is, quite simply, to make everyone else better than myself, to help them realize their dreams and visions, to "equip the saints" not for the work of my ministry, but for theirs. Naturally, the goal will be for them to spend less time doing what we have normally considered 'church activity' as they mature and discover their unique callings. This is leadership turned completely on its head...my goal is not to sell you on my vision, but sell you on your own - or really what God's vision is for your life. Then, and only then, do I have the right to suggest tools (training) to help this calling become a reality. It will be necessary to hold people "loosely in my hands" as they go through this process. Lately I've been thinking about Church of the Savior a lot - how they never had more than 200 people a part of their church at any given time, yet they have touched thousands of lives. I want to be like that."

More to come on this. Much more in the works actually. But, we got to have a baby in the meantime. 7:30AM tomorrow is the c-section. Thanks for praying.

Long trip yesterday. Ten hours in the van from Augusta to West Palm, ate dinner, wrestled with Jackson, talked to Amber, went to bed. The highlights from the trip were spending time with Ahren and T, hanging out with Hanson and going to lunch at Nacho Mama's, seeing Tom Conlon in concert at the conference, and renewing some old relationships with other Vineyard guys.

The conference was nothing to write home about...my talk went well but it wasn't earth shattering. I found it interesting that only eight people out of about 60 wanted to discuss "Authentic spirituality for you and your church". Maybe it's just not a glamorous topic like "knowing your calling" or something like that. Don't get me wrong, I like to discuss things of that nature in small groups of people, so I really don't care. Just an observation...

If you get a chance to see Tom Conlon or buy one of his CD's, do it. He is one of the small (but growing) number of artists that I think is doing an amazing job of being a prophetic voice in the emerging culture. His music is pretty simple - just guitar and vocals - but it has this rich, earthy quality to it that is really brilliant. Go to his website and download "Sacred Things" for a sample.

Blogging from Augusta. Hanging out with Hanson and his crew.

So I've had to call in the reinforcements. It is time again for me to accept that I am not wonder-women. I don't want to be...but sometimes it is hard to just call and ask for help. I don't want to be an island but sometimes island living is less vulnerable and maybe easier in some respects.

Mike is leaving on Wednesday to go to GA until Sunday. He has to finish his teaching notes and all the stuff at work. Baby #1 is sick and has a fever and was up all last night...so therefore so was I. (It is very hard to be comforting and cuddling when you have 35 pds of belly in front of you and no place to snuggle your sick baby #1) I must say this is very bad timing but I am getting used to those sleepless nights again.

I've been mulling over some things lately. Kind of heavy things. Firstly, Jennifer Palmer and her situation. It hits so close to home that I am unable to pray with any words...just tears. Very close friends of ours from Gainesville have a 5 month old who was just diagnosed with viral meningitis...and has spent almost a week in Miami Children's hospital..and another friend from Gainesville..who is my age has been diagnosed with breast cancer. We believe and pray for healing and yet know that it is not a 100% fix all of the time. I guess that is when it gets hard walking in the kingdom...Praying and having hope and faith that God will move but not being swayed if for in his infinite wisdom he seems to not move. Hard stuff to get my brain around.

and yet in the midst of hard things...I see God shaping and moving things...calling and transforming his people. Especially his people that I love and journey with here in West Palm. I love sharing my life with you guys. Mike and I were just reflecting yesterday..as we spent our last lazy Sunday as a family of three..that if we had to be doing church the traditional way we would be close to mental breakdown. Not because it is wrong, just because of the amount of work that is involved in pulling a Sunday service off takes. I wonder how many other "church planters" feel that way? So busy setting up, tearing down and preparing an inspirational message that they didn't even have time to be with their family on Mother's Day. And then those families in "ministry" with young children who have to cart their kids early to set up, stay late to break down, throw a box of toys in some random room some where to keep the occupied...the list goes on and on. I guess if God has called you to that particular model there is tons of grace.

Well, I may not have time to share any thoughts before Chloe arrives. (7:30 on May 21st 2003) If you think about it..pray that my c-section goes "off without a hitch", and especially that Jackson deals well with the transition, and that I deal well with the transition as well. Grace and peace to you all.

Happy Mother's Day

Grace and peace to all you moms out there that are doing the amazing work God gave you of raising children in his kingdom. I was one of those kids and have one of those moms. So Mom, Mary, Amber, Alison, Amanda, Suzanna, Oksana, and everyone else I forgot...May God bless you today!

So, I'm officially leaving my job at Palm Beach County Youth for Christ. I'll be working a little bit part-time through the summer, but will then be facing the scary world of school and work to be certified as an aesthetician (that's a big word for facialist). This decision has been a really tough one... (sorry to those of you who had to listen to me be indecisive for months) but I feel like I've grown decision-making legs in the process. God clearly showed me in the beginning that it was my choice to move on or stay, and honestly I didn't know what to do with that. I don't like making decisions, especially those that affect others so much.

And I decided to jump off the cliff... into the unknown. aaaaah!

For the summer, I'll be working at the Town of Jupiter day camp where I get to snorkel, kayak, bowl, go to theme parks... and get paid for it! I'll also be working some for Mark Rickards... and, well... I won't bore you with details.

It's gonna be Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Some thoughts on togetherness... (I'm resisting writing a title like "reunited and it feels so good")

Well most of you know that my wife was gone to DC for 2 weeks helping family, and she got back last night. So I was just thinking about how good it was to be back together, and how wrong it felt to be apart, and I felt like God was whispering to me that HE feels much that way when there's separation between us, that it just feels wrong, that I belong with him, that things are so much better when theres actual fellowship, that maybe that's what it means when I've heard that God is jealous for me. And I just wanted to put that out there in case it would resonate with anyone else.

Thanks

Wow, I didn't realize how much work our little worship gathering last night was going to require. In actuality, (and I'm speaking for myself here) I worked so hard getting stuff together to feed all those people and writing blurbs for the stations that I was wiped out by the time we finished eating. Lori, I really didn't think that many people would show up. Sorry if you were expecting a smaller crowd. I know it was a little overwhelming.

Okay...here's me just shooting from the hip here...but I realized last night that I really don't like being in groups of people larger than about 10. Yeah, it was cool seeing everybody in the same place, but I don't think I had a real conversation with anyone the 4 hours we were there. Maybe I'm just getting old...but maybe I'm just craving relationship. An argument for large-group gatherings (like a traditional Sunday service) that I've heard is "people like to know they're a part of something bigger than themselves." I don't know about anybody else, but just knowing that I'm a part of the people of God is enough for me. Do we have to have 300 people in the same room to figure that out? Or even 30? I get excited when I meet one other person who is following Jesus...like meeting the Milliken's last week. Anyway...just thinking.

REVISION...That last paragraph really sounds like I'm against large group meetings. That's not really true. I guess that I'm realizing that you can't have your cake and eat it too with more than a few people. Either get together and have a huge feast or get together for some other purpose. It's really hard to pull off both at the same time. Anyway...like I said...just thinking.

The Completed BBQ Grill in All its Glory

Well, last night I finished up the grill at Lori's house. There are still some items to be cleaned up, but we got to taste of its fruits for the first time. Wow, I forgot how good burgers taste over an open flame. Especially when you helped build the grill the flame goes in. Anyway, thanks Mark, T, Caleb, and especially Lori for letting us, who had no clue what we were doing, build something out of concrete in your backyard.