Hey all, I just wanted to say thanks for "being with me" on Wednesday. Letting me talk out my fears and frustrations laced with third trimester hormones. It was another step in a long line of steps that I have been taking the last month or so. It is too much to recapture here, but it has been a hard month for me in every way. I've been trying to give myself grace b/c I know so much of what I am feeling is affected by my pregnancy but also trying to weed it out and deal with the non-hormone induced stuff. Yesterday Mike and the baby left me to just be...and I am exceedingly grateful. For the first time in a month I had time with Jesus that was not frustrating. The quote from Gordon Cosby has been haunting me "You don't grow by getting the right answers but by asking the right questions." The key is asking the right questions. I think for me I've been asking too many questions before it is time for them to be asked......and not getting any answers and feeling very frustrated. So I've been praying something like this for the past month kind of like "Much Afraid" ....."Good Shepard, come quick." I must admit that I've been thinking lately that he has not come quick enough. But yesterday, was a day of answers.. ironically not to the things I've been asking but non the less just what I have needed. Mike has been saying this to me for awhile now. My job right now is to be a Mom and have a baby and not try and figure out all of the many scenarios involved with what, when and how God is acting and moving within and through our community. Well, that sounds good, but the trick is trying to turn my brain off. Not easy...but I am working on it. So I am enjoying the process of transformation within my particular call at the moment ....motherhood. As a matter of fact, I've composed the top ten things that I deal with pretty regularly. It may help you see into my world a bit.

10. I wish more stores opened at 7. By 9 half the day is gone.
9. I never make it through the grocery store without having at least one item open and half eaten by my child.
8. Sleeping in to me is 8.
7. The laundry is never fully done, folded and put away...it is just a perpetual basket of dirty clothes.
6. I am able to do many task with only one hand while holding my child with the other.
5. Sleep is more valuable to me than almost anything.
4. I keep thinking "How do other Mom's take there young children to traditional church services?" Talk about checking a box just to say you where there...because I promise you....they do not hear one thing the pastor says and have no time to connect with anybody because all they are thinking is ...we have to go...the baby needs to eat...have a nap...needs a diaper change etc. God forbid they ask you to work in "children's church" are they smoking crack?
3. It is challenging to have deep conversations with friends while caring for your little one..yet I keep trying.
2. I think about Susanna Wesley and say "Her kids must of been older when she put an apron over her head and told her 11 kids that she was being with Jesus. At this point I don't even own an apron and if I did have one and put it over my head...Jackson would think I was playing a game of peek -a- boo."
1. Although there are many sacrifices in parenting, there are many, many more joys. I wouldn't have it any other way..because Jesus speaks to me loud and clear through the voice and actions of my child.

Have a childlike day! Love you guys!

For those of you who aren't Rickards, I want to let you know that that fam is having a pretty cool conversation lately on their blog about truth, art & our intellectual/emotional states of mind; and how they all interrelate in a universe where God and pain are both alive and well. (Sorry, Rickards, that's as good a summary as I can do.)

I was going to add something to their conversation by comment, but I didn't want to be like a neighbor (even a loved one) poking his head into an open window and interrupting what was a fairly personal talk between brothers, sisters & in-laws, even though it touched on issues that we can all relate to, just because their talk was genuine enough to spark thoughts of my own. So I'm bringing my thoughts here to my family . . . in our big open-air living room. :)

Anyway, my thought is about truth, pain & hope. I really liked a lot of what the different Rickards said about it, and about being people who are what we are (emotionally, intellectually, artistically, or whatever) because we're based on the truth about ALL of reality, which necessarily and always acknowledges (or can't ignore) the real, ongoing existence of both sorrow/pain (war) and of God's love, involvement, and ultimate victory for us. To ignore either of those is to be untrue in some sense. But here are some other "realities." One, we're all limited in any moment. Human attention is a zero-sum game. There's only so much RAM in our little bodies, and only so much that can be processed at once, God, pain, math, whatever. But then, we will exist for while. Thank God for time. We're not designed to experience everything true (all reality) all at once, so we take it in pieces, over time. So, it's at least predictable that we all have moments of experiencing so much pain that all the hope gets squeezed out of our little consciousness for a moment--no more RAM to give. And God's joy is certainly capable of (designed to?) overwhelm our little vessels. Not to mention we can waste time and "RAM" processing lies or half-truths.

But more than the fact that we are limited and that there's more real pain and more real joy in the world than any one of us could handle alone, what is the "ultimate" reality? Where are we all headed? This question draws out another part of "truth" that can't be ignored, and, if Jesus really is the axis of history (and he is), it gives us a living and growing hope. Ironically, I think it is this "truth" (that's already died once) that is intended to embolden us to willingly go into the real pain of the world with hope, knowing our, and the world's, ultimate destiny, which is the redeeming, fulfulling, and ongoing reign of God. One person can literally absorb pain from (with) another person and destroy it forever through forgiveness and love. And there's only so much pain in the world, coming from our sins (it's a lot, but it's limited), and an unlimited amount of love from the heart of God. Love covers a multitude of sins; where sin abounded, grace abounded all the more! I hope this is sounding as dynamic and real as it should. God/Love has better credentials/authority than anything else, and He is entitled to cover the earth and destroy its pain.

Thanks, Rickards and others for being open. Hope is based on reality, on the Ultimate Reality that has come and is taking over. To be in pain is to be in the world, but to be increasingly hopeful in pain because of Christ is to be a realist, not an optimist. I dig that! This could sound corny, but PRAISE YOU, LORD!

The Ultimate Reality Show…

If you like real TV, I guess you are getting a pretty good does with all of the war coverage. I have found I have to limit myself to how much I see or listen to. It is just too close to home with my brother and all. One of the funniest things I heard on the news started out like this “Peace protesters turn violent…” Not funny ha-ha ha-ha, but funny ironic.

So, I have found that is a good discipline for me right now to verbally express out loud all of the things I am thankful for. (from the greatest to the least) It really helps me keep my eyes on Jesus instead of all of the waves around me.

The chief thing that I am thankful for is that God is in control...unchanging, loving, and working…constantly…on humankind’s behalf.

Bish's Blog Break
I've decided to take a week off (at least) from internet contact. The rest of the gang will be posting here though. God has been doing some things in me lately that I need to focus on for a while so I won't be answering emails or surfing the blogs. If you really need to reach me about something, my phone number is 561-741-4156.

Just one more thing though, remember that everyone is invited to my SuperCoolFunkadelicTellAStoryEatSomeFondue 30th birthday party this Friday night at 7 PM. If you come, you will be cool like these people -->>

Jesus is the extent of God's love for us.

Employer's Nightmare

War with Iraq + NCAA Basketball Tournament = No work.

At RGD, we're watching MSNBC's live camera in downtown Baghdad. The nightly prayers are being sung right now and you can occasionally hear a siren or a truck go by. Very eerie.

I've been thinking a lot about "good old" Dietrich Bonhoeffer this week with all of the stuff going on globally. He followed Jesus right into some pretty scary stuff, and got himself killed in the process. So much of his writing has influenced who we are as a community and who we are becoming through Jesus. I think it will be cool to say this one day. "Well, we read Life Together and then we actually did it." (as opposed to reading and never doing anything about it) I guess that kind of frustrates me. I wish more people would actually "chuck it all" and do some of the things they have been reading about. i.e. Foster, Willard, Peterson, Bonhoeffer etc. "Living lives of Creative goodness for the sake of the world." I hear things like "That was a great book!" but life continues on as it always has. Dietrich lived in a crazy time historically as well, and in fact, the craziness compelled him further and deeper into Jesus. So in the midst of all that is happening in the world right or wrong my prayer is that it will drive us all deeper and deeper into the person of Jesus and our lives will be a living testimony to God's people after we are no longer here.

Big Pimpin'
(What follows was originally a comment on Bish's blog from Wednesday, March 12. He's actually talking about some pretty important things. I initially just wanted to point out (since no one else had) that Bish had used the phrase "spiritual pimping." I thought that was noteworthy in itself. But as I read and thought about that phrase and the rest of what he had said, I realized that I had deeper feelings about what he had written than just joke-level. Bish thought those feelings would make a good post, so here they are.)

I knew what you meant re: the "spiritual pimping" line (I just wanted to highlight the phrase;)), and in a sense it makes sense in that the church or leader gets a benefit out of making the "match." The analogy also works well in the situation where the leader and/or the "matchees" look at and treat each other as a mere means to an end, exchanging what they have for what they want. There are probably other ways to extend the analogy. But I don't know if the analogy helps your main point, which is a good one, regarding how the church attempts to create and maintain relationships so mechanistically. Pimps and churches could both attempt to make their "matches" in a variety of ways (I would think pimps aren't overly program oriented). Some ways of fostering "relationships" are more forced, or more natural, or more mechanicistic than others--for pimps and churches alike. What approach or environment tends to produce the kind of relationships that reflect God's character and rule, rather than the kind we're getting now or that pimps get?

A related question you alluded to, though, (intentionally or not) is "What's the difference between a church leader and pimp?" (Now, that's a good question!) The answer can be summed up by the verse: "We are your servants for Jesus' sake." It's the upside-down thing of the kingdom again. Pimps don't serve/love their whores; and they do what they do for their own sake. We, as church leaders, live for the benefit of others for Jesus' sake, or because of him. It turns the whole structure upside-down.

A question I have with all this is whether we need to be thinking at all about "creating the right environment" so that 'reality/relationship so and so' will come about. I think we have it backwards. Maybe we should just relate to people around us (in the environments we and they are in) on the basis of the truth we know about them and us and God, and then the environment we want (the kingdom of God) will follow.

What is "an environment" anyway other than the dynamics between and among people--of which we are always only a part?

Thinking about Amber's brother Nate today. He's on a carrier in the Red Sea. Pray for him.

I've been going to school lately. You know school with Jesus. This is what the teacher has schooled me in this week. To catch everyone up...I've been diagnosed with possible gestational diabetes. I keep throwing up the stuff they give you to test for it, so because they can not get an accurate blood count they have to treat me for it anyway. Long story short, I've got to go on a special diet and get my blood work drawn once a week. Like I don't have enough on my plate. Counting everything I put in my mouth blah blah blah. I am sure most men have no appreciation of the tedious nature of this task. Anyway I digress.

So Mike is like "Honey, don't fool around with this...just do the diet" yeah, yeah ok but remember I am Superwomen and can handle multiple things at once with grace and ease. OK Back to reality. I started the diet last week and wonder of wonders I feel sooooo much better. I am not sick. I am not throwing up...I have more energy. I just have to be way more prepared/ intentional etc.

So here is what the great teacher has shown me through this turn of events. I tend to do this with things that look on the outset like a prison. Keeping me from what I really want to do...but then once I am inside the self imposed box, I find life and freedom and grace. Then once I am there, this place really is what I want to do and where I want to be. I want to have all of the life that Jesus has for me. I guess I am thinking specifically of disciplines etc. There is so much life in places that Jesus is calling you to be, even if they are hard, difficult, not easy to learn etc. I guess that is the key..they have to be place that JESUS is calling you to and not some self imposed "this is what good christians do" thing.

Thanks Jesus for a life time of learning your ways.

So we keep saying "Follow Jesus. He is smart enough to get you where he wants you to go." and I guess it is times like these that that statement isn't just a bunch of nice words but a living reality.

audblog audio post

...hear my voice...hear me be cool like Jason...oh wait, we're not supposed to call him cool anymore...he's really neat?

Enhancing Relationships Through Organic Servant Structures
I'm sitting here watching a South Florida thunderstorm roll in from the west. Just got done IMing with Sir Alan Creech of Lexington. Whoa, big lightning. Anyway, I'm having a brain dump about how relationships that foster spiritual health - what I like to call spiritual friendships - occur. It seems to me that the most beneficial friendships I've had in my life have begun with intentionality but without the need for a "matchmaker". What I mean is, through the natural course of life I've run into men (and women, but in a different way) that I seem to resonate with in some way. So for the benefit of my own journey and hopefully for theirs, I have pursued a friendship with those people. No person or organization "set us up", it just happened.

I wonder if churches all too often think about relationship and community too mechanistically. For example, a church might recognize that their Sunday meeting is growing large and there is no smaller setting for "community" to occur. So a program is started to try and match up like-minded people for their mutual benefit. But everyone knows that real friendships rarely work like that. Blind dates are often not that successful (however, I am certainly thankful that two people I know decided to try a blind date 35 years ago - my mom and dad).

What if churches simply focused on providing the right environment for these relationships to organically occur? Instead of making programs that are borderline spiritual pimping, what if they created safe spaces for people to 'date'? Lots of room for long conversations to happen naturally.

Well, I probably have more, but the wife and child just came home. Bye bye.

Bish's Birthday Bash
That's right. Bish is turning 30. I guess now he and Mark R.can be our elders:-) So in order to properly celebrate this prestigious event...I am throwing him a Bilbo Baggins-esqe type party...well...minus the fireworks..and the whole disappearing thing.

You are all invited to our home 136 Sherwood Circle 17C Jupiter, FL 33458 on Friday March 28th at 7:00. Give us a call if you need better directions at 561-741-4156.

We will have a little fondue and the only gift you are to bring is a story. Not just any story..but think back to the funniest/scariest/sad/most impressionable experience you had as a kid and we will have a good old fashioned story time. I think that Mark Rickards has to go last... because he will set the bar way to high and everyone else will clam up after his hysterical escapades.

Come one and all...bring a friend..or not...just let me know so I can prepare food. Out of towners if you are so brave to make the trip we will show you a fun evening...if you can't make the trip e-mail bish a little diddy from your childhood. I am sure it will brighten his day.

Very Thankful

Very Thankful
This was a sentence I took out of an e-mail I sent a friend that no matter how long it takes, always tries to keep in touch.-

“Being busy and staying busy seems like a MUST in my life at the time! I do want to say, I cherish everyone of my friends and even some of my acquaintances.”

Also, I want to say that I very much appreciate my brothers and sisters that keep in touch in so many ways. Even when I cannot physically be at the meetings my mom and my brother can go and participate of the activities and then come home and share with me!

This weekend I was very sick. Thanks for your prayers and care and a special thanks to the Freeman’s for the tips and the medicine.
I am much better and very thankful to God for his goodness and for our community!

Quote Day
Here's some quotes from a book that has been the top of my reading list lately. We talk about The Challenge of Jesus often, but only because it really is that good of a book. If you haven't gotten into N.T. Wright yet, this is a wonderful place to start. The quotes below are from the final two chapters which contains some of the best instruction I've heard on a way forward into following Jesus in a postmodern context:

"Was it not necessary that modernist versions of Christianity should die in order that truth might be freshly glimpsed, not as a set of doctrines or theories but as a person and as persons indwelt by that person?"

"If you build on the foundation in the present time with gold, silver, and precious stones, your work will last. In the Lord your labor is not in vain. You are not oiling the wheels of a machine that is soon going over a cliff. Nor, however, are you constructing the kingdom of God by your own efforts. You are following Jesus and shaping our world in the power of the Spirit; and when the final consummation comes, the work that you have done, whether in Bible study or biochemistry, whether in preaching or in pure mathematics, whether in digging ditches or in composing symphonies, will stand, will last."

"Our task is to announce in deed and word that the exile is over, to enact the symbols that speak of healing and forgiveness, to act boldly in God's world in the power of the Spirit. As I suggested earlier, the proper way to expound the parables today is to ask: What should we be doing in God's world that would call forth the puzzled or even angry questions to which parables like these would be the right answer?"

I love that last quote especially. It affirms our thoughts lately of doing actions which garner response, then teaching / explaining later. I especially like how he frames our response as parables - little Spirit time-bombs that we plant in people's heads. This is our constructive response to "modernist versions of Christianity." It is work that few will see or hear about. But it's where we'll find the kingdom in action.

Last night was the best. (Some of us gathered at the Rickards' for a little dessert and conversation.) Bonnie and Tommy, it was great hanging out with you. I see why and how Mark and Suz are such awesome parents. You are a fountain of wisdom and inspiration. Come back often!

Mike, thanks for getting me back on the blog-roll!

Thanks, Mike for adding a comments section to the blog.

Blogging from Charbucks
Our local purveyor of 'fine' coffees is now a T-mobile hotspot so I'm taking their bandwidth for a testdrive. I get a free day for registering but it costs a pretty penny after that. Huh-huh, cool.

Liz Creech would be proud. Jackson and I just ate the first strawberry off of one of our plants this season. It was so sweet. He wanted another one but the rest are still green...I'll try to post a picture of our next gardening adventure:-)

The Message on Bible Gateway
T informed me today that Eugene Peterson's The Message has been added to the list of searchable translations on the Bible Gateway. I can't tell you the joy that is in my heart:) Enjoy.

UPDATE: My bro Mark tells me that you can now get The Message for your pda at Olive Tree Bible Software.

Not much blogging from this half of the Bishop family. I just hit my third trimester and I am very tired, still a little sick, slightly overwhelmed with all that needs to be done before Chloe arrives and extremely hormonal. So in an effort to protect you all fro my irrational statements about many things...I remain quiet. Well, I guess I should say I wont bore you with all of the crazy things that go through my mind during this season of my life. (Like how is Jackson going to deal with this...how am I going to deal with this...Oh the sleep I will miss, etc..etc.. see I told you I should stop)

I rest in the fact that He is calling me and transforming me in the midst of my feelings and that above all else his plan is being worked in my life. That is a good thing because I am so hot and feel so fat that I could be a little depressed if I had to be in control:-)

Just Say No to C.E.O.
The other day I had an experience that solidified my hatred for the "pastor as CEO" role many large church pastors are playing these days. I was listening to one such pastor speaking about things related to church but liberally and unapologetically using business language and a corporate mindset related to decisions he'd made and was recommending we make in our churches. To be perfectly honest, I was becoming literally sick to my stomach during his talk. Not at him as a human being, because I greatly respect the man, but at this bizarre role-play, "let me put on my CEO hat now" posture he assumed. From where I stand now, as one who is finally learning to let go of my addictions to church culture, it was just plain weird. I felt like saying, "Do you know how goofy you look?"

Although I've been bothered by the impact that corporate models of church have had on things like the experience of authentic Christian community and 'apprenticeship to Jesus', criticism of these models has become less important as we begin to construct communities on a new foundation. We should stop wasting time throwing rocks when we should be building with the precious stones God is giving us. I guess what I'm feeling now is just a little bit of embarrassment for the silliness of church-as-corporation. Do people seriously think church should be run like a Ford assembly plant? Shoot, maybe I should've stuck to industrial engineering and gone to work for a megachurch. I have a B.S. and 5 years of multifaceted experience at a large manufacturing plant. Anyone want to hire an efficiency consultant? I can do an ergonomics review for your secretaries. I can help you start a team-oriented cost-savings program. I have tons of experience in estimating R.O.I's for big capital projects. Want to know when that big building will be pay for itself?

Okay I'm ranting now. Sorry, that doesn't happen very often anymore. Constructively, I think should do ourselves a favor and stop trying to look like CEO's and start being fathers and brothers. The world has too many corporate sponsors already. People hold allegiences to 50 different organizations that are all meaningless. No one wants to join the Kiwanis Club for Christ. No one wants to work for the Coca-Cola Baptizing Company. They want to be loved. They want to belong to a family, to a people, a tribe. Imagine running your family like Microsoft. Your budget starts to get tight so you say to your 5-year old, "Sorry son. We're going to have to let you go. There's just not enough room in the budget for you anymore. Here's a severance check that should buy you some food for a couple weeks and we'll try and set you up with another set of parents soon."

Ranting again. I'll stop now. Bye bye.

Hey, you may not all agree with the upcoming war with Iraq (I have not yet taken the time to espouse my views for many reasons...maybe that will change soon), but you gotta admit, my brother-in-law just looks freakin' cool in this shot from his station on the U.S.S. Teddy Roosevelt.

Make sure you don't take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good: share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship - a different kind of "sacrifice"- that takes place in the kitchen and workplace and on the streets. - (Hebrew 13 The Message)

I am still chewing on this from our reading this morning in Hebrews.

Father God, take us as a community deeper into this reality, that we may be you for the sake of the world.

A Little Taste of Minnesota
We'll be thinking about Mark and Ali in the great white north this evening in Miami at A Prairie Home Companion. Our good friends Matt and Emily are down from Gainesville for the weekend and they're big Garrison Keillor fans. So we're leaving the boy with G-ma and G-pa and going on a date! All those with young kids say Ooooohhhhhh.

It was good spending time with Matt last night. I rarely get a chance to do blatant guy stuff in my house with another guy. Keck makes me jealous with all these stories of weekly poker games with the neighborhood dudes. One day.