journey with a community discovering life together.
Hey, not much blogging going on here. We're just enjoying some time off hanging out with the family etc. I think a bunch of us are going to get together on Wednesday night and have turkey at the Freeman's house. For our community Thanksgiving feast we bought a turkey and ham from Honey Baked Ham Co. but we didn't realize that the turkey would come frozen. Duhh. Oh well, it will be a festive New Years Day turkey. It's huge so everybody make plans to come by around 6:30.
Another good thing to read as we rethink worshiping together...
A Seed Story: Mark Palmer and the Landing Place
"We didn’t set out to be an ‘artsy church’ as a church planting strategy, it’s just who we are…We don’t have art hanging on the walls because it’s cool and trendy to be a church with art on the walls, we have art on the walls because we’re artists and that’s how we worship God. I feel so blessed to be able to do church with so many gifted people--writers and painters and sculptors and musicians. There’s something really powerful about being able to create original music and art to worship with. When it grows out of who you are--out of your specific context--it feels very authentic and pure.”
"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel."
Isaiah 7:14
Merry Christmas!
I just read this article. I was drawn to it because of the discussion that we have been having about how to do worship more deeply than just singing. It was very encouraging to me. Read it and than let's talk about it. Merry Christmas to all the saints in Christ Jesus.
Well, It is not really an experience of their choice necessarily, but something that we as a family will come up that we can all experience together. (Camping, the zoo, a movie) We have everything we need, and just getting more things for Christmas, sometimes gets tedious. If relationship (with God and others) is what we are going to take with us, then anything I can do to promote deeper relationship...especially with my kids is worth its weight in gold. So take your kids to the zoo... take your friends to a movie...go camping together... it will last much longer than anything that you could buy.
I guess Christmas really began on Saturday for us. We took the boy to the zoo for one of his presents. Amber's idea is to give each of our kids (when we have them all) an experience of their choice each Christmas. Of course, Jackson couldn't choose this year - he's only 16 months. We figure it's a good way to reorient them towards real life and not just consumer stuff.
Thus begins the 'week of festivities'. Christmas eve at Amber's parents, Christmas day with her extended family, the rest of the week with my parents. Jackson will be oblivious to what's really going on but he'll have a blast. Hopefully I can get some golf in there somewhere:)
Last month I mentioned that I'd be starting to work for Amber's dad and move away from teaching music to preschoolers part-time. Well, I've been working there now for over a month and I must admit, I'm really enjoying engineering again. In a lot of ways, I can echo the same sentiments Kevin Rains has been blogging about since he started working at the family business. I too feel my confidence strangely going up. Maybe it's just the extra money:)
Actually I think it has more to do with participating in something God is doing. Many of us have spent years trying to do anything to get into "full-time ministry" to now find God launching us back into seemingly benign jobs like fixing cars or designing HVAC systems. I was an engineer for five years back in Gainesville, but there is something different now. My identity is not wrapped up in my job title. My vocation is apprentice to Jesus. Engineer, pastor, father, and husband all take a back seat.
So when will I have time to write, think, pastor? Honestly my thoughts about church and kingdom living have been clearer this past month than in a long time. Plus, this is not a full-time job. I still have flexibility to write some like I am this afternoon. Also, since pastoring is inextricably linked to the flow of real life, why not pastor and earn a living at the same time? We've flushed consumer models of church down the toilet, so goes with them 90% of the reasons (and hassles) other pastors have to work 60 hour weeks anyway.
So I cheer Mr. Rains for taking the 'rains' of the family business. Let's move into the brave new world where taking a 'secular job' isn't taboo or 'selling God short'. Maybe then we'll have less bored pastors sitting around dreaming up new ideas to make themselves busy for God.
Yesterday, I was enjoying a brief moment while Silas was napping, before I began the furious paced day, to have a cup of tea and sit still with Father. As I was relishing that infused drink that was no longer water and no longer just herbs I realized that awhile back I would never have drunk from a chipped teacup. The reason for drinking from this particular cup was because the day before Mark had bought it for me because of its remarkable beauty and it was on clearance for one dollar. He couldn’t wait for Christmas so he urged me to check my stocking and I just loved the lines of this piece of pottery. As I was thanking Father for a precious gift from my husband, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper in my heart that I was like that chipped teacup. I was beautiful even while flawed and more importantly I was full of the life of Christ and together the infusion was a thing of great beauty to my Father. I was so overwhelmed because just a few days before I had read in 1Thessalonians where Paul was just pouring out his heart to the Church missing them and encouraging them and he said, “May God our Father himself and our Master Jesus clear the road to you! And may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you, just as it does from us to you. May you be infused with strength and purity, filled with confidence in the presence of God our Father when our Master Jesus arrives with all his followers…1Thess.3:12,13…May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!"…1Thess.5:25,26 I am quoting from the Message.
I am so excited about growing and learning and I enjoy being me for the first time. The freedom to love who I am while knowing that the Holy Spirit wants to change and rearrange some things in my heart is so stretching. It’s a hard, wonderful limberness being worked in my soul and spirit.
This is really weird. Below is my personal favorite from this dude's drawings of Jesus out and about (via tallskinnykiwi via an article from plastic)...
"Gee whiz, Jesus, you're making me kinda nervous standing back there. This putt's for birdie."
A famous Greek Philosopher, ( I think it was Socrates) said that most people live their life exactly backward, spending the most time on the things that matter the least, and the least time on the things that matter the most. That strikes me as being relevant to my journey, especially in relation to the definition of success. To quote Steve McVey: "The criteria for measuring success in the world is production. The person who produces impressive results in business is considered successful...and this is where we get into trouble in the Christian Life." A person's definition of success comes through loud and clear with the questions they ask, or when they have to introduce themselves for the first time (listen sometime, self definition is an interesting thing, listen for how long it takes to get to what they do ) Paul always greeted people with the words "grace and peace", instead of focusing on factors such as church numbers, financial independence, retirement etc.
One of my goals in life is to escape the worlds definition of success. To escape those main factors by which the world categorizes and boxes people in, wealth, race, sexual bent, smokers, attractive, etc., and become someone who has eyes to see what matters, a searching heart, a willingness to hear, to recognize a hurting soul. Because following Christ isn't built around performance, its centered around the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus and Paul constantly shifted the focus away from the outer shell and shine a light on the inner person.
Which brings me to the related topic that I started blogging about. I think that the verse 'god will not give me more than I can bear' is misunderstood as its commonly pulled out and used, because God has no intention of helping me get stronger. He wants me to become so weak that HE can express himself as the strength I need in every situation. I commonly want God to change my circumstances, I think God uses some circumstances to break through my shell of self reliance, so that the inward man can break through to the outward man. Self sufficiency (another word for the flesh) is in opposition to God's rest.
And so I'm going through some difficult times, but the Over Story is about God bringing me to the end of self sufficiency, and it's pretty hard. By the way, the Message translates that same verse, I Corinthians 10-11 in part by saying "Forget about self confidence, its useless, cultivate God confidence." I want my life to be about what is most important, and its interesting that the object of central importance is exactly opposite of what the world would call success.
Sickness...
I am so thankful I am finally starting to feel better. Even though there are still days that I don't feel 100% I think I am over the worst of the morning sickness. I've been told by a reliable source(my husband) that my personality is "very pointed" when I am pregnant. I laughed and said "I can't help it!" but after thinking a little bit about the statement I realized that I am wrong. Sickness is like a prison. There is no place you can go to get away from it. However, I should not allow my body to dictate to me how I am going to act or respond in any given situation. Jesus suffered great hunger and great pain and remained calm, gentle and full of grace. (I go through minor degrees of those things and find my self stretched beyond comprehension.) So, I am so thankful for the 8 weeks of intense morning sickness because it shows me my weakness. It also gives me compassion for those that are sick for a longer period of time with no "light at the end of the tunnel". So Jesus continues to call me to himself and I continue to make baby steps in that direction...A long obedience in the same direction. Isn't life in the kingdom amazing!!
After waltzing around the wierdness of the web tonight, I thought some natural beauty might be a great thing to post as we launch into a new week.
This was the sky over Jupiter this evening (the town, not the planet)...
Well I know all you northern people will think we're wimps, but the wind was blowing and the thermometer was dropping this morning on the beach. So we skipped out on our normal gathering place (that is outside) and 'worshipped' with bagels, coffee, and waffles at TooJays.
Sometimes I enjoy the simplicity of throwing away agenda and letting people just be people. Too often I've seen pastors / leaders say "the show must go on" even when it's obvious that the only one caring is them. I want to intentionally exercise the belief that God's Spirit is present the same in the middle of a restaurant as it is in the middle of a church meeting.
However, I know this can be frustrating on both ends. Many times this year I've had to throw away hours of preparation work because God was doing something different. And, I know sometimes people are thinking, "Man, when are we going to do something 'spiritual'?"
I think part of the solution is to recognize that God is slowly working into us an awareness of his kingdom in everyday places. This is one of the most difficult lessons for followers of Jesus to get because it reveals our selfishness, our idolatry. We want to keep God in his church building. He is safe there, confined. But thankfully he refuses to stay put.
This whole war thing stinks. My reason is not political, or ethical, or spiritual. It is pretty much personal. My brother flies for the Navy and war with US involvement anywhere ,means he will be there which pretty much rots!!!! The whole "talk" about who he is leaving all of his stuff to if... conversation that he had half heartedly with me just put this whole war thing really close to home. I guess I really want years and years of deepening relationship with my brother. The thought of not having that just plain hurts.
My friend from St. Louis, Rob Graham is now blogging. His community is called Levi's Table and they are quite mad like us. Just for kicks they've started a Servant Leadership School in the tradition of the Church of the Savior.
Good stuff from Dan Hughes on P2P and spiritual community in this article at next-wave.org. (This is mostly for T. We like to talk about nerdy stuff that we're probably not qualified to talk about...)
Also, check out this article (the one Lori was referring to tonight) that's created quite a ruckus. Personally, I think it was a good piece of satire. Whether it was intentional satire or not is up for discussion.
Yesterday was monumental for me. I finished my Christmas shopping. I know many of us this year are taking a step back from the Christmas chaos, but this year is my first year to explore it. I'm notorious in my family for writing letters and never sending them, buying gifts but not getting them to the intended recipient... (last year my niece, Sabrina, didn't get her christmas gift until her birthday... in March!) The reason for this lack of follow through is a general sense of being overwhelmed... I think of all my friends and family and want to do something special for everyone, but those thoughts paralize me and I wind up doing absolutely nothing. Not this year. This year I focused on my family and I'm almost totally done...
Except for my niece, Sabrina. Sabrina wanted Rapunzel Barbie. I bought her the Hispanic Rapunzel Barbie. She wants the white one. Do you think I should force a philosophical statement on a 4 year old? Just wondering.
So this year my brother is getting shirts, my mom is getting a jacket, my dad is getting shirts, and my sister is getting beauty products... my nephew is getting toys, my niece is getting latin barbie... all this has cost about $67.15... I don't know.
By the way... I like singing... I also like other options... could we do worship gymnastics?
Tonight we had a short discussion about worshipping together. Lately we haven't been "singing songs" all that often which has been somewhat intentional on my part. I'd like to explain why a little more and maybe spark a longer conversation.
I heard Don Williams (a Vineyard pastor/theologian) tell a story of his first experience with worship in the Vineyard. It was back in the early days of the Vineyard (1982 or so) when 2000 folks used to pack out a high school gymnasium on Sunday nights in So. California. From his vantage point (he was a Presbyterian minister at the time), their worship was "state-of-the-art". Not because of their technical skill or the relevancy of the music, but because they obviously believed what they sang and it revealed something deeper going on behind the scene. This worship bled over into their lives. It was the outward expression of an inward reality.
I want to discover what "state-of-the-art" worship looks like for our community. This is not meant to start an abstract discussion on the comment page - this is something we have to work out as a family. How should we worship together? Are the songs still expressing what is really going on inside? Great, let's sing more and write new songs. Are you experiencing worship while engaging in small acts of service? Or watching your child play? Or painting with a friend? Dancing, laughing, cooking, eating (that's me), etc.
Let's develop a liturgy of life. Hymns and prayers that intertwine sacred and secular. I've been thinking of a few projects for the new year and this is one of them. But I'm not doing this alone, and I shouldn't. We must do this together. Otherwise worship just smells like the person who cooked it up. Worship is like jambalaya - everybody throws in somethin'.
I see the product of this being a dynamic community liturgy for us to follow. Some kind of framework that has all of our flavors mixed in and changes as we change. I think God would like that.
More to come. (Note: I typed this out and lost the first version to the Blogger demons. So if anything is incoherent, sorry, but I'm tired.)
Devern Fromke writes: "Those who want their own freedom to enjoy boundless direction and their own placing, soon discover that it becomes the way of narrowness and limitation. Because they imagined that God would confine them, they ran from Him, only to be locked up in the prison house of their own selfishness. Yet those who have accepted what seemed like dependence and limitation in God, have found it was really God's desire to enlarge them. [The widest thing in the universe is not space; it is the potential capacity of the human heart. Being made in the image of God, it is capable of almost unlimited extension in all directions. And one of the world's worst tragedies is that we allow our hearts to shrink until there is room in them for little beside ourselves]A.W. Tozer -- Unto Full Stature
I struggle with the whole lose-weight-live-healthy thing because my mind tells me that way is narrow and hard and I can only manage it temporarily so why try. The truth that eating anything and everything to feed my self is actually limiting as evidenced in a body that longs to run and dance but is incapable. Father is transforming my thought processes to know that what I eat need only be life giving fuel. Food as a gift but not an abuse. This path of really knowing what my body --or as Bill Gilham says--my 'earth suit' needs to live the best life that Father intends for me is getting clearer each day.
Jeremiah Smith is asking as he prepares to begin 'the journey' with a group of friends (leaving an established church and venturing out into the wilds):
"The dominant question..."Who are we becoming?"
"In my communication with people here, the first question is always, "so what will you do when you get together?". I'm trying to find non-abrasive ways of changing the focus to "who we want to become"
We must imitate Christ's life and his ways if we are to be truly enlightened and set free from the darkness of our own hearts. Let it be the most important thing we do, then, to reflect on the life of Jesus Christ.
-Thomas a Kempis
Well, I've really enjoyed the dynamic discussion within our group recently. I can almost physically hear the sharpening going on as we deal with issues of our hearts. In The Kingdom of Love by Hannah Hurnard, Hannah talks about just how much God loves diversity... in fact it's part of his character to love diversity... in fact... it appears that God cannot bear uniformity... Hannah goes on to say that if God loves physical diversity, how could we ever assume that he doesn't equally love diversity in our opinions and perspectives, in our hearts and the way we respond to his love in worship.
Just don't be surprised if I freak out during a particularly fiesty discussion. I fear confrontation... part of that comes from my background. I definitely have a core belief that if confrontation came up, then things fall apart. I see God transforming that part of me. I don't like it when people are dogmatic about their opinions, but I've come to realize that I don't have to be dogmatic to challenge the way other people are thinking... Don't get the wrong idea, I'm still far from assertive. But I feel more bold about confronting lies. They need to be confronted... I hope that you all will confront lies in my life. I'll try to do the same. But just remember, I may not agree, and God loves my very strange and unique thoughts, in fact, he couldn't bear it if I thought like everyone else.
Here's something I've been thinking about and wanted to put it out here for discussion if it strikes a chord with anyone...
What is it about the Bible that allows people that start with a conclusion to search through the Bible and find backup for it? Generationally, I think this may be a bit of a post-modern issue, and let me explain why...Most of my theological discussions with Christians from an older generation break down into a logic argument, such as, If the Bible is 100% true, and if it says that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and if it also says that God desires to give his children good things, (instead of a stone if we ask for bread), THEREFORE, God must desire that Christians be financially secure. To me, however, that kind of proof does not even come close to settling the issue. (Now this blog is not about the financial security thing, its just an example...)
People have used the Bible to backup slavery, the avoidance of all pork products, etc. etc. and yet, the Bible is commonly called our instruction manual. If so, it would be difficult to say that it is a straight forward one (note the striking lack of diagrams for one thing)
I would like to consider, for a moment, whether the 'instruction manual' moniker is valid. What if the Bible is more like what I heard someone call a "love letter, with personalized notes to each of us that can only be really seen as the Holy Spirit shows them to us." That's closer to the way the Bible has been reading to me lately.
Not to deny the pervasive truth of the Bible, and not to detract from a single sentence contained therein, but the Bible, if divorced from the Holy Spirit, can mean quite a lot of different things. Stripped of the larger narrative, the text can be manipulated to suit someone's preconceived ideas. I suppose what I mean to say is similar to the interchanges between Jesus and the Pharisees, or Paul and the church, what starts as a God centered relationship, gears within gears, can become disengaged from the source and become off centered, man centered, and out of balance, and turn His gifts into obligations, or at the worst case, into plain wrong thinking. Its one of the reasons for church, for fellowship, for blogs, and why isolation doesn't work. Its like some of the science fiction/fantasy books I've read...where the books of magic never lie, but are just misunderstood by most..usually because its something they really hope to be true, or believe to be true already. (I like that kind of fiction what can I say)
And yet, just as the Bible can be selectively used for someone's pet ideas, it's the most powerful book in the world when combined with the Holy Spirit...so how is it possible for one collection of books from so many authors to be insightful at every level of the Christian maturity level/walk, and yet misused so easily by the sidetrack artists?
I have a myriad of emotions running through me this morning. I have been spending time with Father God just allowing him to sift and work His perspective in my soul. I am deeply contented with the place I am in. Saturday was an amazing day spent looking for my Christmas tree aka Christmas branch. Lori and I went hiking through a field looking for that oh so perfect branch to suspend in our living rooms and hang ornaments on. I will be honest and say it is even more beautiful than I imagined. Whilst I enjoy this simple beauty I feel so deeply saddened for what this season has become. Either commercialism or cynicism. Take your pick: One is mass hysteria and the other hoplessness. Why must I feel the pull of both on a heart that simply wants to rest in my Fathers provision today. I am not trying to make any statements with who I am, I am just being. Being no more or less than a daughter learning of Life. I come from a home filled with bold statements and causes to fight. Whether abortion or what Christmas is really about I have seen how frenzied that life is. I want to simply abide and let Father produce the fruit. This year I get to have a branch symbolising beauty and simplicity. Next year I may have a full seven foot Douglas Fir tree symbolising God's provision in our lives. Wherever I am on this journey I want to be resting and enjoying, not shadow boxing with a daily or seasonal Cause.
