We have used this blog as a way to chronicle the events / questions / revelations etc. on the quest to discovering what it means to be church in West Palm. I think we've all been pretty honest and transparent - as someone put it to me in an email - earthy. Well, lately I've been seeing my 'earthy' side show up a little too often.

I had a friend tell me before we left to move here that church planting is like the birthing process and just as messy. (How's that for earthy?) Probably the messiness for us has been compounded by trying to birth a business and raise a newborn son at the same time. Sometimes I forget that what we've gotten ourselves into is not 'normal life'. I wake up thinking that every day should go smooth, that our business will grow, that our marriage will stay healthy, that I'll be maturing as a follower of Jesus. Well, it isn't that simple. It's easy to slip into bouts of doubting introspection. For example, as a pastor in this way of being church we're experimenting with, what really is my job? Peterson says mainly to teach people how to pray. I feel totally inadequate for that task, so how do I move forward? I can't go out and make something happen (i.e. drum up a big crowd to preach to and start a bunch of lame programs). And learning the fine art of listening and responding to God is hard work that takes years to develop.

If I've been fooling anyone into believing that I have it all together (that I'm a confident, focused visionary who will stop at nothing until the world is changed for the better) then I'm sorry to disappoint. Most of the time I feel like John Wimber: "I'm just a fat man trying to get to heaven." Except I'm really not all that fat. For me it's more like: "I'm just a shy kid trying to get to heaven."

Last night I became abundantly aware of the incredible community of people God has allowed me to lead. I don't think any of you are fooled otherwise you would have jumped ship a long time ago. I thank God that you all have infinitely more patience than I do. You guys have stuck with the unanswered questions, the lack of 'measurable results', the "long obedience in the same direction" with no complaining or questioning of how I try and do my job.

For all you aspiring church planters out there, let me give you a small word of advice. Forget about the two-year-plan, core group interviews, and demographic studies. Forget about the John Maxwell leadership training seminar, postmodern church planting conference, or reading the latest Len Sweet book. Forget about searching blogs and websites for 'the answer'. If God is calling you to plant a church, find 5 or 6 friends that you love and that love you and purpose to go on an adventure together. Don't (pretend to) give them the answers, just pose a few simple questions and say, "I'm going to be here with you to work this out for as long as it takes." Love each other and whoever God puts in your path. Everything else will take care of itself.