Transformation Lived

One of the rallying cries of our community of faith is "Let's live this thing out in our real life!" Weary of Sunday-go-to-meeting Christianity, the past five years have been a process of detoxing from a segregated praxis and attempting to take on a more holistic view of life with God in his kingdom. Easier said than done. Much easier.

T's latest post about the 12 steps as a plan of transformation is worth a read if you're interested in this type of thing. What this conversation has been doing for me can be best described in this statement from T's post: "Entering a reign" of any kind involves the submission of our will and our lives to the sovereign, and thereby trusting the sovereign a fairly great deal for wisdom, protection, etc." I cannot simply go on business as usual and expect the kingdom of God to become more real to me. Simply put, clinging to the illusion of control does not a disciple make.

Last weekend our community gathered at our house for an extended time of listening, prayer, and conversation about the next step for us corporately and individually. Leaving the Vineyard created the necessary crisis to force us into some hard questions again. Four years ago almost to the day we formed a 501c3 called The Vineyard Church of Palm Beach Gardens which we effectively killed over the weekend. The next structure could look completely different, but what stood out to me during our gathering was that structure and organization are secondary issues. The primary task, which is really just an invitation, is hearing the call to be vulnerable to each other and God, and then link arms as we collectively are transformed by the Master Jesus.

The core of the Northumbria Community's rule of life is the vow of availability and vulnerability. There is something very attractive about the simplicity of that vow. But inherent in its simplicity is the gauntlet thrown down of "Now go out and live it!"

T and I will be posting more about this in the future as our community goes further down the road into uncharted territory. As we write, we welcome feedback from any reader. This is not a private journey and it has been clear to us for some time that the wider community that frequents this blog is indispensable to our growth.

This gave me a little inspiration. I've noticed lately that a bunch of myspacers have been linking to an image I posted a while back of a mansion in Palm Beach. So I edited it a little...

Losing Control

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." - Step One, The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

If an apprentice of Jesus were to redraft the steps as a means of reorienting their life around the kingdom of God, what would step one sound like? Possibly something like this:

"We admitted we were powerless over our society's expectations of the "good life" - money, power, influence, self esteem, relevance, being busy - that our lives had become unmanageable."

You see, we don't have a problem admitting specific addictions - something that our bodies are drawn too when things are difficult as a source of "relief". But AA would argue that addictions such as those are symptoms of a greater illness. We have the illusion of being in control, when in fact we are dominated by almost anything our bodies tell us to do.

You might say, "But I'm not addicted to alcohol or drugs. I don't have a sexual addiction or want to gorge out on food. How can you tell me that my life is out of control?" What makes you so sure? I am beginning to come to understand (and I point my finger at myself first) that this might be the "narrow gate" Jesus spoke of for our day and time. It is obvious by now that saying the sinner's prayer, reading the Bible and praying, going to church and listening to sermons will not guarantee a transformed life. One only look at Barna's statistics or just take an honest look beneath the velvet exteriors of most churches. But even within us who have organized ourselves in new, simpler ways of being the church, the wide path still beckons. How easy is it to tweak church models without dealing with the greater illness in our souls? A little too easy I'm afraid.

Powerlessness. Something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Losing two peers to unexpected illness, one dying in the space of a week, will bring to bear the utter lack of power we have in ourselves to control our own destinies. "I am the captain of my soul, the master of my fate." We like to believe that, don't we? Particularly as people who have invested so much in this American success project. But look at the guilt that consumes our lives. We feel guilty for driving a gas guzzler, so we buy a hybrid that gets 25 mpg instead of 20. We feel guilty for watching Katrina victims on TV so we create a media system that focuses more on the controversy surrounding the event than communicating the horrors that actual people like you and me are facing. We feel guilty for not being more like Jesus, so we reinvent Jesus as either untouchable sacrificial-deity or self-help guru and live accordingly.

Amber and I have recently been spending some time taking an inventory of our lives. It is not an easy task. We so quickly want to move past this stage into, "So what can I do about it?" What steps can I take, right now, so I don't have to feel ugly like this anymore? Step One directly challenges that drive within to manage our pain, to put band-aids on our hemorrhaging wounds. Jesus, through the narrow gate, beckons us to follow him on a trail with no markers. He is a good guide, and we must trust him with everything...which is the scariest thought I have ever had my entire life.

Fonecam, Food, and Fun

Just cleaning up my phone sim card this afternoon. Some noteworthy images:



Hudson at my birthday dinner at PF Changs. The boy can pack it away.



Chinese restaurant in Minneapolis. Speaks for itself.



Met Brant for lunch last week at "Juan in a Million". They have this mural on the wall. Look's pretty normal right? Until you look a little closer...



Why is Matthew Mcconaughey standing in the corner, smiling, with his arms folded?



After almost 10 years of adult working life, the holy grail has been reached...a good cup of coffee made while at work.

Step #4

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Our little band of friends have been talking about how the 12 steps from AA would be helpful in our overall transformation. Step four is a serious step. Can be very scary and radical all at the same time. I wonder how God could lead a person forward, if they took an inventory as to what they would like to be in 5 years...And then go to work with God on that plan with specific action?

Hmmm, I've got a whole lot of wondering going on.

Dallas Willard says that "Passivity was for the Israelites, as it is for us, one of the biggest hindrances in their spiritual formation." and then later he says that "The land of milk and honey was one that was Constantly and persistently conquered over a long period of time." They had a plan. I am relating this back to my last post about vision, intention, means.

Keeping in mind that all of this is born of God...What if I went to work on a plan of what type of person I would like to be instead of what type of thing/mission I want to accomplish? Then out of the person I am becoming the mission is put together? (I know that this is a "no duh" for many people. It may of even been a "no duh" for me previously but somehow I've lost sight of it. Maybe that is true of most things.) My plans and lists have always been about things to do, events, goals to accomplish etc. But never really about who I want to be in regards to Christ likeness. I wonder what would my life look like in 5 years if I stopped and asked God to really show me myself and then with his guidance devise a plan of formation that would assist me in moving towards that goal?

OK - I need to go back and read a little Dallas. If you where Alan you would tell me Merton, so ether way, I need to learn from some guys much further down the path than I. I've kind of checked out mentally the last few years with all of these babies and what not. Now these sweet babies are developing into beautiful children that play by themselves so it's time to dig in again. Yipee - I can't wait!

Football School?

Well, let's call it a football/basketball school from now on. As Billy Packer said after the game, it was one of the most complete wins he's ever seen in a championship game.

I started following Gator basketball my freshman year at UF, when they sucked. After Billy Donovan took over as head coach, there has been a steady progression of growth as a program. The one achilles heel has been defense, but thanks to Larry Shyatt, former coach at Clemson, we seemed to have fixed all that nicely. I'm glad for Billy. He's had some tragedy in his family, a lot of criticism that he couldn't win in the big games, etc. This was a masterful coaching job tonight and a total team win. Gotta love it, huh Kyle:)

Gainesville's gonna be rocking tonight!



Oh yeah, and this is for Brant:

"When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes." 1 Samuel 18:6

One Step Closer

The clock has struck 12.



Florida 73. Cinderella 58.