Journey Inward, Journey Outward

"The person who is having the time of his life doing what he is doing has a way of calling forth the deeps of another. Such a person is Good News. He is not saying good news. He is the good news. He is the embodiment of the freedom of the new humanity. The person who exercises his own gift in freedom can allow the Holy Spirit to do in others what He wants to do." - Gordon Cosby

Our community is wrestling with things like call, gifts, mission, and how those all relate to our transformation into Christlikeness. It is not a neat and clean process. Communities like ours have a fairly diverse set of gifts and find ourselves all over the map when it comes to calling. Inner transformation is expressed differently too, and the hurts of the past have their way of effortlessly creeping into the matters of the present.

But shouldn't that be expected? Why do we always tend to think that Christian community is where everyone gets along, all the needs of the group are met, everyone is fulfilled, feels loved, and has an equal voice? The reality often looks much different. Some voices are louder than others, some feel isolated and left out, some always feel that there is "something missing", needs often don't get met, and very often, personalities conflict, there are misunderstandings, and the awareness becomes stark - we are all very different people.

"All the believers were one in heart and mind..." Acts 4:32. This is the ideal, right? This is what everyone thinks of when they say, "I want to be a part of a church like in the book of Acts!" Sounds wonderful. One heart and one mind. There were none needy among them. Breaking bread and worshipping together daily. Wow.

"Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches." Acts 15:36-41

I guess all the believers didn't stay "one in heart and mind" forever. What is so remarkable about Barnabas and Paul's disagreement is that it came directly on the heels of the Jerusalem Council, where the church navigated its most serious internal conflict up to that point - whether or not to accept the Gentiles as is.

Here's what I am discovering: disagreements, conflict, misunderstanding, personality differences - these are all a gift. They help to remind us that transparency is vital to our life together as God's people. If keeping the peace were the object, we would become stale and lifeless. Elizabeth O' Connor (I seem to be drawing a lot from COS again) says in "Journey Inward, Journey Outward", "Peace is not the object of Christian fellowship, though we have thought it was and have maintained 'good' relationships at the terrible expense of not being real with each other. When this happens, we forego being a people on a pilgrimage together."

Discovering gifts, call, mission, who we are as people, is not something done in isolation. Modern spirituality tells us to "Remember our spirit" and foster these things in the privacy of our own homes, separated from the messiness of other people. We then occasionally come together with others and swoon and fawn over our "enlightenment" and dish out gross sums of money to whichever guru Hollywood says is popular this month. But Christian community demands we slug this stuff out together, with a concrete group of imperfect people, how ever uncomfortable we feel. Christianity - real Christianity - has always been lived this way.